So I'm filling up this morning at Conserv Fuel ($70.40 to top off the tank at 4.599/gallon for B99—eep!) when this glistening brand new black Chevy Tahoe pulls up to a neighboring pump. These two well-coiffed blond lads hop out, black slacks, creased white business shirts, military-grade haircuts never sagging in the 90 degree heat. They were both wearing bulletproof vests under their shirts, both packing well oiled semi-automatic pistols, and even extra clips of ammo on their belts! No visible ID of any kind. I looked closer at the Tahoe. It had no plates, no numbers, no markings of any kind. It DID have a shotgun mounted up front and a cage in back for locking up, well... who knows? That's the point I guess. There was absolutely no way to determine what agency they worked for, what they were doing or why they were so ammo'd up.

But the moral of the story is your (shadow) government cares. The Tahoe was a flex-fuel, and they were filling it up with E85. But you can't prove it, I didn't send this email, and they were never there.